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(1.) Q. What is your name?
A. Mark "Stev" Stevenosky
(2.) Q. What was your favorite trip to Pizza Hut?
A. The one where we stuffed pizza under the chairs and in Kissinger's McD's cup just so we could get the longest bill in history.
(3.) Q. What is your favorite summer moment?
A. The time ... when I had sex with your sister, ya' know ... that was actually my sister! ... arright ... enough reminiscing.
(4.) Q. What's the best part about Gustas' basement?
A. Well I guess it would have been the shrine to Cool Guy, but since it was dismantled before I got to see it, I guess it would have to be that weird little kid Basil that you would always punch or kill but he wouldn't care and also inventing the Mortal Kombat theme dance.
(5.) Q. What's the most asshole thing that Chuck ever did?
A. When he asked me for a ride and I said no and then he called me useless and nothing else.
(6.) Q. What's your favorite place to grind?
A. I DON'T FREAKING HAVE SOAPS! ... but if I did, it'd probably be the one i snowboarded down..
(7.) Q. What's the lamest joke you ever said?
A. I had alot of lame jokes but I don't remember any but uh ... "Wanna hear a song? How 'bout a THIS HURTS song!" - Kissinger.
(8.) Q. What's the lamest thing you ever did on a friday or saturday night?
A. Probably the one friday night when I stayed home for the masturba-thon ... I started with a few pornos and ended up with a chafed penis.
(9.) Q. What's your favorite quote?
A. "Losing both your sons, man, that ranks up there with getting it up the ass from your great grandfather." - Jon Will.
(10.) Q. What are the chances of us staff members ever making "ARRGH!?!"?
A. Slim to none ... and slim just left.
(11.) Q. Where's the rauchiest place you ever 'bated?
A. In front of Pillus, Newton, Angstadt, Christine and Brittany in Angstadt's basement.
(12.) Q. What's the most annoying thing [Kissinger] said?
A. I think it would have to be, "Hey guys, I got my Emo mix! Emo EMO EMO!!.
(13.) Q. What's your favorite Florida moment?
A. I'm not a band dork.
(14.) Q. Who's the most annoying kid in PAHS?
A. WESLEY FRIGGGGGGGIN' WEINER or VINCE CHENG. If I got into a fight to see who's more annoying, I think they'd tie. Or maybe I'd just go insane and cut off their faces with a set of keys. Who knows?
(15.) Q. What's your favorite Schneider and/or Mieckowski quote(s)?
A. It's not a quote but ol' Donnie wore a shirt at the end of my sophmore year that read, "Just solve it."
(16.) Q. What's your favorite "Tony Hawk: Pro Skater" move?
A. Hah ... fortunately for me I didn't spend hours in front of it mastering the moves.
(17.) Q. Who do you want to be when you grow up?
A. Any one of those guys who make money by selling alcohol to biddies.
(18.) Q. What was your worst attempt to get a ride?
A. Callin' "Mr. Evs" at unGodly hours of the morning plus the time I drove illegally but we won't get into that.
(19.) Q. What kind of soaps do you have?
A. Sorry, folks ... I'm pro-Vans.
(20.) Q. Favorite Cartoon?
A. Dennis the menace in the Philadelphia Inquirer!! A close second with Ziggy bringin' it to ya' with his social commentary and witty reportee ... but he got replaced by lame-ass Dinette Set.
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