By Big Daddy So this one time, me, Mr. T, and Michael Jackson were up on stage and we were singing the thriller remix. "THRILLER (I PITY THE FOOL) THRILLER YEH.. I pity the fool who is the thriller with the ghetto chains! Stay in drugs! Drink school! Keep off milk!"... Anyways, we found a great piece of... artificial wood. We call it bamboo nowadays. So we pick it up and say, "Hey, looks like bamboo. Let's fight." So we clashed the sticks together. It was a one on one competition. The place: behind the old SBIT building. The champion reigned superior above all others. Might I add that this was after a great meal at Pizza Hut where we probably had pizza. Anyways, to get sidetracked, Michael Jackson started raping little kids so Mr. T and I went to the outhouse. It was a long time since we took a crap so this was our last resort. However, a man Mr. T's size could not fit in the outhouse. But he squeezed in anyways and then it couldn't hold the pressure and it exploded. At the moment, I was in Mr. T's 18-wheel mack truck so I did not get any exploded crap on me. Thank God. So Mr. T then smelled like crap while we were driving back to my house. When he left me off he said, "You know why you didn't get hit by the crap? Cuz you didn't stay in school!" Then there was about a 10-minute silence where he stared at me with his evil eyes while I stared back thinking, "What's he talking about?" Then, I slowly backed away a few feet and then turned and sprinted into the house. Mr. T went and jumped off a cliff then but survived the crash and burning wreckage. So the first winner was Chuck. He had a mackdaddy bamboo stick. But Tony, with his weakest stick ever still managed to defeat Chuck, the reigning champion with 14 wins in a row. Wow. Oh yeah, Khool was there too but he was weak in his efforts. Tony fell prey to my powerful onslaught. One swift swing of my mighty stick and BAM, he was down. So later that day, Mr. T went to the mall with Rod Stewart. Tony was crying like a little girl and Chuck was angry and rushed at me. He over swung as i sidestepped to avoid the swing. Then, a backhand swing from him connected with my stick and his broke in two. Khool then rushed at me and an epic war began. The two bamboo sticks were equal in every way. No one had ever felt the power of these sticks before. It was as though they were fighting with steel swords that could not kill. Then, both fighters reared back and struck each other's "swords" and CRASH! BANG! BOOM! ZOWA! Both sticks had fallen into two pieces. So the fight continued. Mr. T ate a bag of chips. The bag, not the chips, though is what he ate. By this time all the fighters wanted to rip each other's hearts out. Why? They like hearts. I don't recall much more but there was alot more fighting and alot more wreckage all over the ground. Then, the fuzz stepped into play. As the sirens sounded, Tony and Chuck ran away. The woman cop yelled for them to come back. So they did. We got in trouble and had to pick up the debris all over the ground. We all had a chuckle out of this. Ya know why we didn't get away with it? Cuz we didn't drink school.